Year in Review 2023

*h/t Maite Villareal-Rodriguez for Year End Recap Questions (translated from Spanish 😉

Best Movie: Across the Spider-Verse (I don’t watch many movies these days but this was another great installment in the Spider-verse series, this time pressing how far you’d be willing to go for those you love, even in the face of failures)

Best TV Show: Beef (a cathartic ending that goes the extra mile beyond even its natural course), The Bear (episodes 6 “Fishes” and 7 “Forks” are masterclasses in story telling), and The Chosen (with some poetic license but true to the spirit of Jesus’ love for people from all walks of life, S1E7 on Nicodemus is an incredible prophetic parable on modern comfortable christianity).

*Best alternative media: flashback in the Skypeia Arc of One Piece (of a friendship amongst former enemies and a promise made to each other not fulfilled until a generations later by a brave pirate)

*Best Sermon: I can’t think of just one this year but this line from an audience member stayed with me in a sermon by Clarence Hill on Unity: “Children feel love not because we sacrifice for them or tell them that they’re loved as much as they feel it when we delight in them…we are happy to be with them.”

Best Book: Of Men and Boys by Richard Reeves – this book gripped me and I couldn’t stop talking and thinking about it, especially on the question of why the modern male seems to be increasingly lost and harder to reach in society.

Best Moment: In our first fall meeting of our young adult group, I was in amazement as they were connecting to each other and God’s word on their own to the point of confession and hearts of repentance. At the end of the meeting when one asked for prayer and I asked one of our d-school alumns to pray for her, when I opened my eyes I saw that the whole group had joined in prayer. It was a reminder that God is always at work and it is not about me. 

Something I learned about God: I was talking to someone about my loneliness and need for a deeper friend that I could share my heart with. Then that evening a random guy shared with me that he sensed Jesus was telling him that I was looking for a friend but that Jesus wants to be my friend.

Something I learned about myself: During a worship time in the DR this summer, a brother in the Lord, shared with me that he saw a picture of me playing with a stick as a child, something I vividly remember enjoying to do as a child. He sensed God asking me, “Where is that David?” I had lost sight of joy in Jesus.

Who did you pass time with: in addition to Ji and my boys, with the 2023 d-school class (especially Adrian, Alice, and Mary), YAF, and the Villareals.

Places Visited: Valley of Fire, Nevada. Santiago, Dominican Republic. Bend, Oregon. Arizona state parks. Kings Canyon, Central Coast, and Pinacles National Park in California.

Favorite Place: sitting on top of the large flat rock dome of Little Baldy in Sequoia National Park with the family – enjoying a 360 view, with a nice breeze, while eating sandwiches made by the moms.

Best Restaurant: King Poke, a little hole in the wall place in Lomita, where you don’t have to choose all the fix-ins but the best mixture is already prepared for you (with crispy garlic)!

Funniest Moment: Somehow our little family started doing impressions of each other. And I decided to do an impression of Amos who likes to run around without his pants on. Just as I pulled up my pants my mother in law walked in. Nathan was laughing so hard he could hardly speak.

Best Song: Jireh by Maverick City Worship (Naomi Raine’s bridge is one of the most powerful songs of scripture set to music)

Best Date: double date with Maite and Steven to see an Ali Wong comedy show with the unexpected special treat of a Sheng Wang.

Something that didn’t happen: a large d-school class

Hope for 2024: to have more courage in Jesus

Year in Review 2022

*h/t Maite Villareal-Rodriguez for Year End Recap Questions (translated from Spanish 😉

Many of these came out before 2022 but I enjoyed them this year.

Best Movie: Wakanda Forever (a far reaching meditation on grief and expanding the table of representation with a brilliant re-imaging of Namor as a Meso-American)

Best TV Show: Reservation Dogs (life on the rez through the eyes of teenagers, full of humor, heartbreak, and honesty)

*Best alternative media: Leticia Wright’s testimony (of Black Panther fame)

*Best Sermon: Razas testimony (begins at 40:00 mark of Pakistani Imam’s journey to become a missionary for Jesus)

Best Book: When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost by Joan Morgan – wasn’t written this year but read it for my Hip hop theology class and it pressed into the conflictedness and complexities of black feminism in a refreshingly down to earth voice, challenging but with love underneath.

Best Moment: when my mentee and blood brother Angel recognized how the Lord was speaking to him through the word and shared it with our Young Adulting Fellowship

Something I learned about God: When you ask to grow he may send you the hardships that will bring that about.

Something I learned about myself: I often hear feedback as criticism rather than an opportunity to grow because it brings up the fear that I am not enough…which is true, as God is the only one who is enough.

Who did you pass time with: in addition to Ji and my boys, with Steph and Omar, the 2022 d-school class, YAF, and the Villareals.

Places Visited: Dominican Republic, Ensenada, Half Moon Bay, San Francisco (boys first time), and Anza Borrego.

Favorite Place: under the starry sky of Anza Borrego – feeling my finitude and the vastness of God’s wonders

Best Restaurant: Bopomofo, especially their Taiwanese spicy fried chicken sandwich (a great balance of savory spice and slightly sour cole slaw topped with a pineapple bun)

Funniest Moment:

D: I’m sorry guys I have some bad news

A: No!!! You can tell me if it’s about Corona virus.

D: Daddy and Amos tested positive.

N: Does that mean we have to stay home?

A: That’s good news.

N: Yeah!

Best Song: Astronomyy Remix of Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish (such a chill and wistful vibe)

Best Date: double date with Maite and Steven at Majordomo – discussing the Lowell school podcast episode.

Obstacles: my own will that was not Gods will

Commitments: abstaining to pray for two particular people (one young and one about my age)

Something that didn’t happen: family trip to AZ

Hope for 2023: that I would be joyfully ruled by Jesus

In the boarding area after days of delays to our first short term mission trip as a family to the DR (and the closest we got to Nathan with a smile on camera :p)

a reflection, as my son turns 10 years old

How did you become a 10 year old already? It seems like only a few years ago that I held you in my arms as a baby and God made me a father.

Amos, my first born. In so many ways like me – with perfectionist tendencies and tunnel vision too. But in other ways so different than me – with phonographic memory, unabashed in your emotion, and more willing to take risks.

I wish you wouldn’t grow up so fast, my Amo-chan. But, alas, time waits for no man. My leader had warned me years ago to treasure the time with you when you’re little because one never gets those years back. But I feel like I let them slip away so quickly anyway. Fatherhood isn’t as easy as I made it out to be in mind. The reality is a lot more challenging. Its a lot of work, tiring, with high highs but low lows. I feel like its brought out the worst in me too. And you’ve borne a lot of that. I’m so sorry for that Amos.

It’s been humbling. But its also been revealing. What seems like the quickness of your growth is actually a window into how difficult it is for me to be present, for me to be still. Even when I’m with you, too often I’m physically there but I am not fully there. My mind, my heart, my hands are occupied with something else…some good but most of the time, when i think about it, not as important as you developing right in front of me.

I realize that my father, who did the best that he could, did not know how to be present to me, and his main way of interacting with me was to tell me what to do or not to do. His father, my grandfather (and your great grandfather), was not present to his son. I don’t want this cycle to continue on to you.

I have come to know my (our) Heavenly Father over the years. Through His son Jesus, He is showing me a different way to be. It has been hard to be still and just receive love from my Heavenly Father, as opposed to this restless sense that I need to be doing something for Him. But He is teaching me that He mostly just wants to be with me. And I am learning how to just be in His presence. In His loving arms. He is modeling for me how to be a better father to you and your younger brother.

Today we had some father and son time where we walked the streets hand in hand to get and eat ice cream. I wanted to talk to you about this and that but you just wanted to enjoy the time, and I sensed our Heavenly Father encouraging me to not rush but just to be with you. Please be patient with Daddy. He is still learning to be a better daddy and more like your true Heavenly Father.

YEAR END REVIEW AND REFLECTION (2020)

REVIEW

*h/t Maite Villareal-Rodriguez for Year End Recap Questions (translated from Spanish 😉 )
**most of these entries did not come out in 2020 but were a part of my 2020

Best Film: “Jo Jo Rabbit” (a hard to categorize film that somehow captured 2020 in it’s strange way of living in a sort of isolated bubble while the world is under siege, about a boy who ridiculously romanticizes Hitler but who learns the reality of “the other” through relationship)

Best TV Show: “Chernobyl” (a series with eerie parallels to America today that is true horror…because it really happened, captured best in the quote of real life Valery Legasov: “What is the cost of lies? It’s not that we will mistake them for the truth. The real danger is if we hear enough lies, then we no longer recognize the truth at all.”)

Best alternative media: In the midst of all the heaviness, this Tik Tok video made my whole family laugh, and inspired repeated viewings.

Best Sermon/Inspirational Message: This was a morning devotional by Albert Tate near the beginning of the pandemic that turned into a preach that hit so deep, from a reading of Mark 5:1-20 (start from the 20:00 minute mark).

Best Book:  Christian Hospitality and Muslim Immigration in an Age of Fear by Matthew Kaemingk (a book that I had to read for my social ethics class that is jam packed with so much good stuff…the reflections from Hans Boersma on the Slave-King and Naked-Christ were so powerful…and so needed in our world today)

Best Restaurant: BBQ Chicken (our new go to to-go Korean Fried Chicken spot that was the source of much savoring around the family table)

Best Song: “Godspeed” by Frank Ocean (this haunting song by a secular artist “took me to church” in its echoes of the spirit of the prodigal Father story in Luke 15)

Best Date: Watching “Long Shot” and laughing it up together with Ji. Pumpkin Patch trailer ride with the boys.

Best Moment: graduation of the faithful and resilient D-School class of 2020 and going on neighborhood walks, holding hands with my boys.

Something I Learned from God: That He hears the cries of the oppressed, working on His timetable.

Something I Learned About Myself: I need to recognize that my boys are a gift from God to teach me to be present to my emotions (Amos) and to be faithfully present to others (Nathan).

Who Did I Pass the Time With:  my family, men’s group, Asian American Ally Table Talk, Phil Bahng, and of course Steven and Maite on too rare occasions! 

Places I Visited: Port Hueneme and Joshua Tree

Favorite Place: cozy on our bed together with Ji and boys, watching “Night on Earth” on Friday nights with the lights out.

Funniest Moment:  (many priceless convos with the boys, here’s one with particular resonance this year)
D: (looking for my son in the house) Amos where are you? 

A: I’m sorry, you were on mute.

Obstacles:  Covid19

Commitments: To lean on Jesus and not try to be the savior

Something That Didn’t Happen: No in-person 1st quarter of seminary classes

Hope for 2021: Personal: That I come back from my sabbatical a better Father to my boys (one concrete goal is for it to be the norm in my interactions with them to have at least 2 positive interactions to 1 corrective interaction). General: That the American church would step into repentance and be the fiercest advocate for the “least of these”.

REFLECTION

*taken from my end of the year letter to supporters

A World Upside Down

It’s been a year unlike any I have known.  My father-in-law passed in February (in hindsight Ji and I see God’s mercy in taking him home early, as I cannot imagine our family not being able to see him in person if he passed in the midst of the pandemic), our state went on lock down in March, our nation erupted in racial protest in May, an unprecedented presidential election contestation in the fall, and we are currently in the 3rd and most deadly wave of Covid-19 thus far. In a year that feels like the world as we know it has been turned upside down, God has been revealing much – our actual priorities, preoccupations, and prejudices. If we didn’t know it before, we know now more acutely how desperately we are in need of Jesus.

In a year of such pain it feels hard to express it since there are those who have it worse, especially the most vulnerable in our society. But, it is okay, indeed good, for us to name how we feel, with God. Collectively, we have felt even more cut off from others and mourn the loss of being unable to welcome others into our homes at this time. But it is in this place that Jesus welcomes us into His arms, inviting us to turn and eat with Him. His arms are strong enough to carry you, us, and even the whole world.

Year End Review and Reflection (2019)

REVIEW

*h/t Maite Villareal-Rodriguez for Year End Recap Questions (translated from Spanish 😉 )

Best Film: “Parasite” (a brilliant, funny, disturbing, and shocking social commentary on class using vertical space as an analogy for unpacking story and ideas)

Best TV Show: “Warrior” (a gritty American-period piece of an immigrant fighter in San Francisco’s Chinatown, based on writings by Bruce Lee, that is an oddly timely commentary on American race-relations)

Best alternative media (aka podcast): “Revisionist History: episode on Suicide by Police” (an interesting wrinkle on police shootings)

Best Sermon/Inspirational Message: “Jesus is Truth, Love, and Power” by Chris Rattay (based on John 11) / (this is about 4 years old but it blew my mind when i saw it this year) “Everything you know about addictions is wrong” by Johann Hari 

Best Book:  Yeshua: The Life of Messiah from a Messianic Jewish Perspective by Arnold Fruchtenbaum (a lecture series that is finally in book form, with fascinating insights about the story of Jesus that I though I knew)

Best Restaurant: Lao Tao (best popcorn chicken)

Best Song: “Father Let Your Kingdom Come” by Porter’s Gate (a great worship collective i found with a vision for different voices and subjects often neglected in mainstream worship songs)

Best Date: Running errands and getting Lao Tao to go!

Best Moment: Baptism class – hearing Mati and Joe’s testimonies for the first time (their final version begins at 22:50)!

Something I Learned from God: (through Isa’s memorial) that God carries us broken as we are to communion with Him

Something I Learned About Myself: I am much too easily frustrated when things don’t go my way, which happens often.

Who Did I Pass the Time With:  Ji, my boys, men’s group, co-ed weds life group, New Life church fam, and of course Steven and Maite on too rare occasions! 

Places I Visited: Seattle, San Jose, Oceanside, and Las Vegas 

Favorite Place: “Jesus time” on our couch with my boys

Funniest Moment:  (boys see me with my shirt off) N: “Daddy!!  You look like a pear!”  A: Yeah, Daddy, you need to work out! 

Obstacles:  filling in as lead pastor as our lead pastor was out on medical leave sabbatical.  my father diagnosed with cancer.  praise God, they are both better now!

Commitments: To make memories with my boys, not just routines (thanks Nefty!)

Something That Didn’t Happen: a big deal for turning 40 or our 10 year anniversary (even though I’m really thankful for Ji! I still owe you a mattres!. :p)

Hope for 2020: That I internalize my Heavenly Father’s love for me, that I may be a better father to my boys and to better disciple other’s in the way of Jesus, the Son of God.

 

REFLECTION

*taken from my end of the year letter to supporters

A theme of this year has been God distributing power.  Worldly power is about amassing everything one can to lift up oneself. Heavenly power is about being filled to overflowing to lift up others. There was fear in me when I needed to fill the shoes of the lead pastor of our community church while he was gone. But God gave me courage as He reminded me that He was with me and I discovered that the church family was lifting me up and allowing me to lead. We shared preaching duties with a team of teachers and we’ve moved toward team leadership of life groups. This has helped so many more to share their God stories, be empowered, and to realize that we as His body are better together!

Looking back on this year, the moments that blew me away were when I was able to witness the gracious equity of God. It is my brothers and sisters in Jesus, who have grown up in poverty, abuse, and violence, whom God has given the most powerful spiritual gifts to in our community – from insuppressible evangelism to prophetic dreams (of things that only God could know) – to bless others. I am in awe and so privileged to be a part of the Kingdom of God unfolding with hope in our midst!  Thank you for being a partner in this journey together!  May you experience the King and His Kingdom closer in your midst too!

 

why we’re afraid to pray for healing

too often we find our prayers infrequent and frail.  when we hear that someone is ill or not well our automatic response is more “that’s too bad” rather than “let’s pray.”  if we actually do pray for healing for another person we keep it general and not too specific.  and we are sure to add on to our prayer “if it is Your (God’s) will” to get God off the hook…or ourselves.

why is that?

it may be that we’re not sure what his will is, especially when it comes to healing.  yes, there are certainly inscrutable things about the Lord’s will in specific cases.  however, there are things about God’s will that are relatively clear.  healing, surprisingly, is one of them.  again, there are instances where he may not provide healing for some reason but in general it is reasonable to think healing is his will.

1. when Jesus inaugurates his kingdom he proclaims the gospel AND demonstrates the gospel through healing. (matthew 4:23, 9:25)
2. when Jesus sends his disciples on their short term mission trips he sends them out, commanding them to proclaim the kingdom AND to heal (the 12 in luke 9:6, the 72 in luke 10:9)
3. we never see an account of Jesus in which he turns people away from healing or says it is not the Father’s will
4. Jesus instructs us to pray for “His kingdom to come and His will to be done here on earth as it is in heaven.” if heaven is where God’s kingdom and will is fully established and in heaven there is no sickness or pain, then we ought to ask for healing to be unleashed here on earth.
5. lastly, our actions betray us. when we do not see healing then we conclude it must be God’s will that we not be healed…but then we continue to pursue medical treatment.  aren’t we disobeying God then if we truly believe that?

 

it is not a matter of IF healing is God’s will, it is just a matter of WHEN.  this leads us to the second reason why I think our prayers may be so weak willed.  as americans, we’re terrified of disappointment.  we’ve twisted our theologies of prayer to protect ourselves and limit God.  we’ve found believers in other countries, especially those not cushioned with wealth, to be of tougher faith who don’t give up on God and prayer at the first sign of disappointment.  often they do not have the luxury of health care so they go after God in ways that we can learn from.

in fact, Jesus teaches us, through the story of a widow who keeps going to an unjust judge to get justice (Luke 18:1-8), that perseverance in prayer IS faith (v.8).  when full healing didn’t come to a blind man after Jesus laid hands on him, Jesus just did it again (Mark 8:22-25).  He was fine to acknowledge that healing is a process.  if Jesus had to pray twice for the same healing we could surely pray twice (or more).

just so you know that the kingdom of God isn’t just a matter of talk, i’ve experienced more breakthrough as i’ve kept asking of God in my life.  one night a couple months ago at our discipleship school, right after a teaching on healing prayer, we prayed for anyone who was feeling any physical ailment.  each person we prayed for was not healed instantaneously.  however, when we pressed in to pray a second time, without fail, people felt a significant decrease in their physical symptoms.  i took the teaching challenge to enter into any opportunity to pray for people’s physical healing for the following week.  again, when i didn’t stop with one prayer, i witnessed healing.   one sister with chronic pain in her knees went from barely being able to walk to me to joyfully walking down the stairs.

even if the answer does not come right away he may be shaping us for the better in the asking.

let us persevere with God beyond what we’re comfortable with.

 

*special thanks to chris rattay for many of his insights concerning physical healing

lincoln heights

some census and neighborhood data about lincoln heights, los angeles

g-dog

“the measure of your compassion lies not in your service of those in the margins but in your willingness to see yourself in kinship with them.” – father gregory boyle (aka g-dog)

day 17: source

Zechariah 3:8, 6:12-13; John 15:1-8

“Hear now, O Joshua the high priest, you and your friends who sit before you, for they are men who are a sign: behold, I will bring my servant the Branch.” – Zechariah 3:8

“And say to him, ‘Thus says the LORD of hosts, ‘Behold, the man whose name is the Branch: for he shall branch out from his place, and he shall build the temple of the LORD.  It is he who shall build the temple of the LORD and shall bear royal honor, and shall sit and rule on his throne. And there shall be a priest on his throne,and the counsel of peace shall be between them both.”‘ – Zechariah 6:12-13

“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.  If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned.  If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.  By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.” – John 15:5-8

Zechariah prophesies of a person, called the Branch, who is simultaneously a servant and a king.  Like a branch he spreads…building, ruling and also mediating it seems (as a priest also is said to share His throne).  Jesus is this Branch.  Yet Jesus, in one of his final teachings to us, calls us the branches.   Jesus is the Branch yet He calls us the branches.

So who then is the branch?   if we look at this same teaching of Jesus He calls Himself the Vine.  yet this metaphor of a vine too had also been used in the tenach (old testament) scriptures (from the psalms as well as the prophets)…to refer to His people.  Jesus has inverted the ot metaphors.  in the prophesies He is the Branch yet in His teaching we are the branches; in the prophecies we are the vine but in His teaching He is the true Vine.

So which is actually which?  Jesus in this teaching brings together the metaphor of the branch and the vine, illuminating their connection….their relationship.  in some ways He and we are both the vine and the branches.  i think this interchange and blending of metaphors points to the fact that we MUST be that interconnected to Jesus…so connected that we must not only abide, or remain, with Him…we must “abide in” Him.  however, their is a critical distinction between Jesus and us…He is the true source…He is The branch we are only branches…He is the True Vine and we the vine.  even when we are the branches, He is the servant-king Branch from which we all spread.  Even when we are the vine, He is the True Vine who actually lives righteously and justly.  without Him, “apart from” Him, we can “do nothing.”

so how can we live “in Him?  at the very least it starts with getting His word in us.  i think this means we put ourselves where He wants us to be, where He is.  Yes, it is our privilege and calling to be like Him, as His disciples, but this is if and only if we are (inter)connected to Him.

do we yield to Him, not only to serve us but to also rule us?  how can we remain in Him today?

thank you Lord that you are our source.

day 16: shepherd

Isaiah 40:10-11; Ezekiel 34:23-24; John 10:11-18

“Behold, the Lord GOD comes with might, and his arm rules for him;behold, his reward is with him, and his recompense before him. He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms;he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.” – Isaiah 40:10-11

“I will place over them one shepherd, my servant David, and he will tend them; he will tend them and be their shepherd” – Ezekiel 34:23

“The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep…No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.” – John 10:13-15, 18

a shepherd: a man who cares for lowly, foolish , and frightened animals. in my one memorable interaction with a sheep herd i especially saw how easily frightened they were. i came by a fairly large herd, one that could have totally overpowered me, but the minute i walked up close to them they all ran away terrified. they would only feel safe with the caretaker they were familiar with…their shepherd. its interesting that in the isaiah passage God says He will come with “might” and then follows that statement with the image of a shepherd…not the profession that comes to mind when i think of strength. in fact, the shepherd that is described is very tender, giving special care for the weakest of the herd. yet, maybe that is “might” in God’s eyes: to love and care for those who are helpless…those who can do nothing to care for you. as i prepare to become a father, i am so impressed by the ones i see holding their little ones…with little to no sleep they faithfully and responsively care for a little thing that just cries, drools, poops, and punches them in the face. then this Good Shepherd not only cares for but defends these sheep. when danger and threat comes that is the test of true strength….that shows who you really care for. i know i immediately try to protect myself…not throw myself into it. and not just throw myself into the onslaught of danger but to do it for a bunch of sheep? indeed Jesus has might i only barely understand.

are we really that different from the sheep? what gives us anxiety…what really scares us? how can we run to the Good Shepherd and let ourselves be carried by Him?

thank you Lord that you are my Mighty Shepherd.

dang John…

 But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? – 1 John 3:17

g-dog

“the measure of your compassion lies not in your service of those in the margins but in your willingness to see yourself in kinship with them.” – father gregory boyle (aka g-dog)

don’t think Jesus’ words of warning to the rich refers to you (me)?   we may need to reconsider that position.  if you don’t believe me then you can check for yourself here (or at least here if you have a lot of conditions).  to the one much has been given much will be required.  may we do good with what we’ve been entrusted.

some census and neighborhood data about lincoln heights, los angeles