my fellow youth leaders have been working through conflict. there were structures in place for us to meet together periodically but somewhere along the way we had neglected our relationship with one another. soon enough we were just checking in to work…the quality of our work suffered as we recognized we were just going through the motions and slowly became frustrated with one another…but we weren’t talking about it.
then it got real. we got real. last month’s planning meeting came to an impasse. some of us were hurt. some of us were angry. some of us felt tempted to check out. all of us knew we were stuck.
it was time to reconcile.
to pretend nothing is wrong when people are hurting is dysfunctional. i am learning, even coming from an ethnic background that is notorious for talking around matters, it serves no one to say things are okay when they are not. we sought God to process what was happening. the elder caring for us youth leaders facilitated a time for us to meet together and work things out. we first went around one by one and owned up to where we had broken trust with others by our actions or inactions. then we brought up issues with others in the group that hurt us.
reconciliation takes time. it took another session of us together, that got pretty raw, to get more to the bottom of what sort of things were still bothering us. but to neglect reconciliation is worse. we are seeing the inner city youth we are leading, that haven’t had the best modeling of working things out, hurting one another and pulling one another down in destructive ways. God thinks reconciliation is so important He came to us in the form of a man and laid down His life so that it could happen. reconciliation is going to take us investing time into one another to build trust again. it is tough…but it is good. we are starting to move forward with one another again…and we are better as one.