it has been difficult to persevere in loving and praying for these young ones i am investing in…to follow my own challenge from this past month. and i haven’t even been doing it for that long. i feel like when i see one step forward there are two steps back. honestly, its been discouraging to hold onto His Word to keep on going to Him with my heart. I don’t want to be let down.
yet, He keeps on persevering with me. He keeps on speaking to me. He keeps on encouraging me to pray. to trust Him.
– through my quiet time in malachi 3:13-16 He has reminded me how my complaining spirit grieves Him and belies a mistrust in the goodness of His character.
– through the book, transforming society, that I was reading for my internship i was reminded i need faith to extinguish the arrows of the enemies discouragement
– through a friend of mine who finally got to experience the salvation of his sister i recalled his YEARS of heart-break and prayer.
– through quiet time with galatians 3:5 i was encouraged that God’s power on our behalf has nothing to do with how good we are but with if we believe Him
– through caesar’s sharing with the youth from matthew 7:7-11 i was reminded to ask, seek, and knock on God’s door because He wants to give us good
– through pastor chris’ word to the leadership team from mark 8:31-38 i was reminded that if i seek my own immediate comfort over His path of suffering, like peter, i will find myself on the wrong team.
over and over again i’m being reminded that faith is a big deal to God. why? i’m still not entirely sure. one thing He is showing me, though, is that my choice to persevere or not reveals what I really think of Him. to the extent that I begin to think he is cruel and doesn’t care, my prayers are tiresome things. to the extent that i think (like His Word shows me) that He is much smarter (like He showed me by bringing ji into my life), bigger (like He showed me by taking me around the world), and better (like He showed me by giving me the gift of His Son and my son) than I realize, my prayers take wings.
I don’t know why i am not seeing the positive answer to my prayers right now. maybe i will see the answer in this life, maybe i won’t. but the question still remains: who is this God that I serve and will I trust Him today?